03/09/2009 3:45 am est
It has been a year (and, due to the time) one day since my last post.
I walked away from this site until I felt I had something to say, or at least an actual reason to say something. You see, 8 years and 5 months ago I started this little experiment as a last-ditch attempt to keep myself sane. I'd been split up with chelsea for around six months, and I was going out of my skull, literally tearing myself to shreds trying to get a grip, any grip, on life. It was a weird time, and I did some pretty weird things, pretty much always by choice. Now, I'm not going to say that the life of my site up to this point has been indicative of some sort of unceasing drought. Nothing of the sort, as in all that time I've been in love, and out of love so many times that the data could be plotted and subsequently used to drive a random number generator. I've had jobs, been broke, made A's and F's been skinny and fat, happy, depressed, all of that. I do think that I sat on my ass in Chattanooga for a bit too long, but thinking that makes me wonder how much of my current life would be different if any of my past life was.
I can, in all certainty tell you this: I wouldn't trade any of it, not one single fucking second, for the way my life is going right now. Call me old-fashioned, Call me repetitive, Call me uncreative, but, yes. For the billionth time, Rhys is going to make a post about a girl.
For those of you who don't already know, Her name is Kate Larson. She was maid of honor for Claire's wedding, Which is the first time I met her. I have to admit that at first I was rather intimidated by her, as Kate has an intensity about her person that is hard to ignore. It wasn't until the next day that I got to experience the sheer, unbridled Verve that emanates from this woman. You know how some people describe pivotal moments from their life in crisp, stunning clarity? I can't do that with this one; It just revolves around this one point- Kate. I was in a bar, some bar in St. Paul. I was sitting at a bar that may have been marble, could have been bronze or black or brown or gold; I don't know, or care. It started out as any post-reception party would, with people talking, having a couple of drinks, and relaxing. However, as the night wore on, I couldn't help but notice this girl, who, well, fuck, I don't know, but, just, Fuck... I mean, shit man, holy shit... I couldn't believe how alive she was, the passion that ebbed from her, like this ethereal vapor, just because she was a bit amped up from the wedding and talking about something she loved. you guys have seen how I act around girls that I'm interested in; how I hem and haw about everything and usually let inaction rule the day, only to pine about it for months afterwards, vowing never to do such a thing again?
Well, with Kate I just couldn't. It's not like I wasn't sure, or thought I had a chance; there was just no "no" option. I had to talk to her, I couldn't not. I made some stupid question about what dirt was called, and promptly got an appropriately embarrassing response. It didn't matter, this wasn't a choice thing. I just, I dunno. i can't describe it, but I knew that I could never live with myself if I didn't do something, anything, to get this woman's attention turned my way.
So I did, finally, and the brief conversation that followed rang in my head for the following two weeks, until a well polished and much-consulted (yet still completely transparent) facebook message started the ball rolling. I'm happy to say that it has continued to roll, and grow, until, like some spasmodically-controlled Katamari of love*, we have found ourselves here.
And that's the thing of it, guys, is that it's a we now, at least about this, because I'm talking about a relationship, OUR relationship. It's been such a long time coming that I'd stopped wondering if or when, and had just quit worrying about it. I'm glad to know that I still know how, and that for any of the parts I've forgotten, I've got Kate to teach me. This has just been the most amazing time, Simply incredible. That's it for now.
(*yes, I really just said that. Will I regret that metaphor? quite probably. Do I give a damn right now? Not really, I'm smiling in spite of myself.)